"You're very hard on yourself"
My coach spoke those words to me about a year ago...I was puzzled. I really didn't know what she was talking about. Me, hard on myself? No way...I was just realistic, I knew my limitations, I had a healthy understanding of what I could and couldn't do. "Why do you think I am hard on myself, what do you hear me say that makes you thing that?" I asked. The answer was surprising to me. Apparently my using words like these were the clues:
I can't
I'm not ____ enough
I need more _____ before I can start
I was not aware, at all, that I had this going on, that I had a negative view of myself. As I said earlier, I didn't see it that way! Turns out I was wrong (no, really, that's not me being hard on myself...I really was mistaken!). I was listening to the voice of my inner critic, that mean girl in my head that held me back. Through working with my coach, I learned how to tell the difference between my inner critic and my intuition, my voice of reason. I learned to really pay attention, to listen to what my inner narrative was, and to understand what was helpful and what was not!
This has changed my life! I am now...
More confident
Less limited in what I believe I can do
Happier, with myself, with my life, with everything
Calmer
I share this because I know you have an inner critic, we all have one (or more!)...it has many different names:
The Inner Critic
Negative Self-Talk
Imposter Syndrome
Whatever name it goes by, that negative voice in your head is not what you think it is! Read on for some tips & resources to get you started on the path to a happier you.
Your Inner Critic is not your friend, it does not have your best interests at heart.
If you can learn to recognize it, acknowledge it, and then, do what it's telling you that you can't anyway, you'll be so much happier!
Your Inner Critic does have a role to play. If you can observe what it's saying, without buying into the negativity, you may learn what's holding you back!
Here are a couple of my favorite online posts & resources on this topic:
Honey, Don't argue with your Inner Critic
It's a post by one of the thought leaders on this topic, Tara Mohr. It includes an awesome (but alarming) A-Z of some of the things you may hear yourself say...if you do...it's your Inner Critic!
Taming your Inner Critic
This one gives 7 thoughtful tips on things you can do today to say bye-bye to your inner critic
I hope you find this all helpful. If you do, please share with your friends via Facebook & Twitter.
Have a fabulous day!
Ciara
