"You're very hard on yourself"

My coach spoke those words to me about a year ago...I was puzzled. I really didn't know what she was talking about. Me, hard on myself? No way...I was just realistic, I knew my limitations, I had a healthy understanding of what I could and couldn't do. "Why do you think I am hard on myself, what do you hear me say that makes you thing that?" I asked. The answer was surprising to me. Apparently my using words like these were the clues:

  • I can't
  • I'm not ____ enough
  • I need more _____ before I can start

I was not aware, at all, that I had this going on, that I had a negative view of myself. As I said earlier, I didn't see it that way! Turns out I was wrong (no, really, that's not me being hard on myself...I really was mistaken!). I was listening to the voice of my inner critic, that mean girl in my head that held me back. Through working with my coach, I learned how to tell the difference between my inner critic and my intuition, my voice of reason. I learned to really pay attention, to listen to what my inner narrative was, and to understand what was helpful and what was not! 

This has changed my life! I am now...

  • More confident
  • Less limited in what I believe I can do
  • Happier, with myself, with my life, with everything
  • Calmer

I share this because I know you have an inner critic, we all have one (or more!)...it has many different names:

  • The Inner Critic
  • Negative Self-Talk
  • Imposter Syndrome

Whatever name it goes by, that negative voice in your head is not what you think it is! Read on for some tips & resources to get you started on the path to a happier you.

Your Inner Critic is not your friend, it does not have your best interests at heart.

  • If you can learn to recognize it, acknowledge it, and then, do what it's telling you that you can't anyway, you'll be so much happier!
  • Your Inner Critic does have a role to play. If you can observe what it's saying, without buying into the negativity, you may learn what's holding you back!

Here are a couple of my favorite online posts & resources on this topic:

Honey, Don't argue with your Inner Critic
It's a post by one of the thought leaders on this topic, Tara Mohr. It includes an awesome (but alarming) A-Z of some of the things you may hear yourself say...if you do...it's your Inner Critic!

Taming your Inner Critic
This one gives 7 thoughtful tips on things you can do today to say bye-bye to your inner critic

I hope you find this all helpful. If you do, please share with your friends via Facebook & Twitter.

Have a fabulous day!


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Ciara Gogan