The Blog!

I get it, sometimes (often, if we’re truthful) we women are not comfortable speaking up. The reasons are as varied as we are:

• We don’t think we know enough on the topic

• We don’t want to appear pushy

• We don’t want to appear to be bragging

• We haven’t been invited into the conversation yet

• What’s your reason?

And so on…I have news for you, we’re not doing ourselves any favors by not speaking up, offering our opinion, or (god forbid) taking charge of the conversation!

In this article, I will provide some tidbits that will help you get over your “what ifs” and speak up. 

I grew up as a gay woman in Ireland when it was under the rule of the Catholic Church, literally. Oh, and I didn’t drink tea or alcohol, so three strikes against me! I learned early that to live inside the box that people expected me to live in wouldn’t work for me, so I forged my own path. I had a fabulously strong mother for my female role-model, and learned kindness from my father. I was always championing people’s causes but was cautious to not draw attention to the fact that I was gay. I rebelled with my hair and my clothes but was a supportive and kind friend to anyone who needed me. I am independent yet needing of acknowledgement by others, that “pat on the back” that says you’re doing a good job...

A Harvard Business School study found that one of the most common reasons managers cite for not promoting women is that they didn’t appear CONFIDENT enough to do the job...not competent, confident. So, they thought we could do the job, but didn’t think we believed we could do it! Mel Robbins talks about this phenomena in this insightful video for Success Magazine. Lack of confidence - or the appearance of such - has a material impact on your career.

Invincible

When I was a kid I thought I could fly. I have actual memories of flying, floating really, down the stairs in the home I grew up in. As children, most of us felt invincible, we could do or be anything, we had no sense of mortality or limit. Remember how high we would swing? What happens to that sense of wonder, that knowing that you can do anything, even if it seems impossible? Did we even know what unstoppable was? Sometimes we revisit that place, that sense in our dreams so why not while we are awake?

Whatever your situation that you feel stuck in, I’m here to tell you that you are not limited by it…but you may be limited by your belief about it!

The challenge for all of us, I believe, is this. How can we make our world/country/state/ county/city/town/street a better place for all its inhabitants? How can we become part of a solution instead of amplifying the problem? It's about channeling your energy into something positive.

For me, one of my fondest memories is being taught to ride my bike by my Dad. The feeling of pure joy when I realized that he had let go of the back of the bike and I was doing it by myself was amazing!!! In my life now, I need to allow myself to acknowledge my accomplishments and enjoy the feeling, instead of wondering if I could have done better. How about you?

I'm incredibly lucky to have many people who fall into this category so I'm going to focus on 5 of them & tell a brief story of how they changed my life. All of these people allowed me to open up & grow and I am forever grateful. I hope to inspire you to see that change and growth come in many forms and from places you don't necessarily expect.

How do new levels of self-confidence, self-knowledge, or courage sound?

I feel like many of us know what we should be doing, we should mediate, we should talk kindly to ourselves, we should accept the thanks and the compliments that come our way…but we don’t, not always.